bored

5.32 p.m
stuck @ home

Life surrounding me is quite boring lately, everything looks like redundant things. You do it over and over again. Wake up freakin early, go to work, come home late and had little amount of times to do this and that before hit the bed. And tomorrow is just the same routines for five straight days. So caught up with work, I don’t think I have any energy left to socialize with new people. It still the old faces that I hang out with, which by times become lesser. SOme busy with their new family, new lover or works. It looks like I stuck in this giant leap of routines that just keep going on and on.

I felt I loose the vibes of life that supposedly to be beautiful. Being a lonely soul in this life does not make this life harder to walk though but the road just seems to be too quiet.

Friends. I don’t know. I do have some but it seems all are caught up with their own routines . They’re not always there. Occasionally is good enough nowadays. Freakin bored now.

New day

6.46 a.m
Wed morning

Today is a new day. What I really want is new life. I felt that if I can chane the whole things, I want to change all my life except for people that I love.
Life that will potray me as the whole me. The one that I trully am.

Hoping for a better day for present and future to come.
Maybe yesterday be part of history.
Love myself, love the real me, love the people who love me.

Be new. Get the new spirit and cherish all the little happiness surrounding you. Observed. Look at people who are doing good things to others, no matter how small they are.

Pay it forward. For every good acts that being brought to you pay it forward to others.

Smile. No matter how shitty your day is, smile the sorrow away. Cause it brings energy to you. The good energy.

And be grateful for all the things that you gave, no matter how small they are.

Have a nice sun shiny day.

Posted by Wordmobi

Shit!!!

8.45 p.m
after traffic jam
Tuesday nite

I’m so darn tired that I have to explain to people for things that I did just simply I don’t like to do it. If you’re my friends, try to underdtand me. Stop judging me like you’re the most righteous person in the world. I don’t do that because I don’t feel like to. So stop f*cking ask me questions and say I’m no good.
Have you ever ask why I don’t like to do it?Have you? No. Zero. So just shut up.
I’m tired of making excuses and I’m not going to try to explain this time.
I’M JUST FREAKIN TIRED!!!!!!!!!! Stay and be my friend or JUST GO AWAY!!!!

Posted by Wordmobi

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

I know I’m not yet satisfied for what I had yesterday

But I will try to cherish every things that brought for me today

Becaus tomorrow still matter for me

cross road

12.36 pm
Sunday Morning
confusion state of mind

It is not easy to understand myself.There are a lot of complicaton going on inside.After so many years.So many friends.I believe that none of them that trully understand me. Not exactly understand, I don’t even think that they really know me who am I really.
I believe that I already try to be who I really am but it seems people are clouded to see who I really am.

It’s a felling that crushed inside that I try to suppress it. But sometime I’m just weak, I just want to let it out. Maybe I cry silently. I even scream when no one around. I felt numb. So numb that I don’t feel it’s sad anymore. Let alone pathetic. Never. I don’think so. I described it as confusion. Unknown of solution. Not yet found a way.

The biggest problem that I faced right now is I have no one to talk intimately about this. The feeling that no people I know would understand.

The way I described is that I’m still standing at the crossroad on a very foggy evening where everythings are clouded by visions. My ears are deaf that no voices are able to penetrate my hearing. I just stood there. Numb. Alone. Waiting. Hope for the sun to come.

Unbearable fall

I should not fall for you because you’re my friend. Not now not ever. And I know you will never fall for me. Not now not ever. Because you’re my friend.

a song from you

Friday Nite
10.04 pm
@ my room

As I’m on my way home, I call you up and just try to ask how are you today. And you’re telling me that you’ve doing better today. Then suddelly you send me a song and you’ve said that I will like it. Whatever you send me I will always like them. The feeling of you knowing what I like is wonderful. Inspired by the song I might want to use somebody to tell you how I feel for you, maybe someday.

Morning note

6.46 a.m
Friday Morning
Cloudy

My heart is as cloudy as what I see the sky when I think about you.
No, not because of sorrow
It’s because that it’s not clear enough
I can’t really see how you feel
But I do know I have a feeling for you all along
You are the clear day that I always want
But it seems the sun is clouded by the uncertainty
I miss you
If only you know I do.

Posted by Wordmobi

right and wrong

I know sometimes I can’t do all the things right. I know sometimes I might do all the things wrong. I don’t know why. And I don’t have any answer for that either. It doesn’t really matter because I don’t have to explain to anyone. Some might thought my actions are wrong but hey who are you to judge me. Sit by my side if you’re my friends. Don’t ask. Just be there. I don’t do it right not because I want to do it wrong. I’m just not sure how to do it right or maybe I’m not feeling right to not doing it not wrong. Confused? Because that is exactly what I’m feeling right now. I want to do all of things right but sometime I just don’t want to or don’t feel to. So what does make it right, is it just a feeling? You’ll do it right if you feel right and you’ll do it wrong if you feel it is wrong. Is that how it looks like? Someone please answer.

Lonely journey

Down this lonely road, I’m searching for you,my perfect fit.
I’m so lost, standing at the cross road looking for a sign.
This twisted faith has made me even lonely.
Unable to feel the norm of life.
I need someone who is not usual.
A love that I’ve been looking for is not ordinary.
I need someone who is gentle,soft and beautiful.
Like a sunshine,warm and bright.

Where are you my companion.
Befriended me on my lonesome journey.

Posted by Wordmobi